April- 5

History of a Suicide My Sister's Unfinished Life by Jill Bialosky   This book has been on my list for awhile.  Unfortunately I couldn't find it at my local library (grrrrr) so I finally bought it.  I had forgotten, or perhaps didn't realize to begin with, that it took place in the same city I grew up in.  It is the true account told from the perspective of a woman who's sister completed suicide.  The youngest sister in a family of four sisters and single mother took her own life and years later the author is trying to convey how this has shaped her adulthood, and made her rethink her childhood.  It was very fitting to my profession, particularly my current job, and also struck a personal note in the familiarity of the childhood memories at least as far as setting.  The sisters in the book are decades older then me but it was so easy to picture everything that took place on streets in the same neighborhoods I grew up in.  I learned a lot and though I am a mental health professional, it was very educational to hear from the perspective of a stable family member who had suffered this loss.  The book is well written but also pretty sad, possibly not for the average reader looking for something light.  

Some great information I learned and some favorite quotes:   "in patients who had committed suicide, they had 30 percent more of the specific serotonin receptor called the 5 HT 2 A receptor" "How are we to know why at one moment someone's anguish is so overwhelming she can't get out of bed?  Why on the next day that same person seems to have found the spark of life again?"  "Time doesn't really heal, it only makes living more bearable."  "Fear that if we do not locate the time and place, the exact moment along the way where our loved one became unhinged, someone else we love will end his or her life and once again we'll be blindsided?"

The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult  The best part about March for me is that it means a new Picoult book is out.  Didn't get my copy until this month instead but it was worth the wait.  I must say though she is one of my favorites, I had been a little disappointed with the last few novels of hers that I read.  I am very glad I didn't give up on her though.  This one was incredible.  It tells the story of a young woman who has suffered a personal tragedy and has since taken to being a loner.  She finds a friend in a much older gentleman who then confides in her the reason he became friends with her was so that he could ask her to assist in killing him.  He also confesses he was a Nazi in WWII.  To complicate this matter the girl's grandmother is a concentration camp survivor.  The book is divided up, as most of Picoult's are, and we hear from many narrators.  The middle section of the story is told from the grandmother's point of view and goes into harrowing detail of the terrible events that she endured.  I'm still, almost a full moth later, uncertain on the ending of the story but I also see why the author left it the way she did.  Overall a very powerful and emotional story and well worth reading.

Quotes:" 'It's a great city,' I say automatically, although I do not entirely believe this.  The traffic is insane, and there's a protest every other day about some cause, which quickly stops being idealistic and starts being a pain in the neck when you need to get somewhere in a timely fashion and all the roads are blocked off."  "How dare you tell me this, when I lived it?  How dare you erase my life just like that?"  "When you are too young to think for yourself, you are baptized and taken to church and droned at by a priest and told that Jesus died for your sins, and since your parents nod and say this is true, why should you not believe them?" "You can struggle against the isolation, or you can give yourself up to it."  "I do not believe in God.  But sitting there, in a room full of those who feel otherwise, I realize that I do believe in people.  In their strength to help each other, and to thrive in spite of the odds.  I believe the extraordinary trumps the ordinary, any day.  I believe that having something to hope for- even if it's just a better tomorrow- is the most powerful drug on the planet."  "You do not understand... You are asking me to poke a hole in a dam, because you are thirsty, even though I will end up drowning in the process."  "It's as if, now that they have something good in their lives, they cannot bear to see it go."  "...even when she became collateral damage, she believed in the power of the human spirit. She gave when she had nothing; she fought when she could barely stand; she clung to tomorrow when she couldn't find footing on the rock ledge of yesterday... She became whomever she needed to be to survive, but she never let anyone else define her."  "But forgiving isn't something you do for someone else.  It's something you do for yourself.  It's saying, You're not important enough to have  stranglehold on me.  It's saying, You don't get to trap me in the past.  I am worthy of a future."  "If you end your story, it's a static work of art, a finite circle.  But if you don't, it belongs to anyones imagination.  It stays alive forever."

When the Elephants Dance by Tess Uriza Holthe  What a book.  This story takes place in the Philippines at the end of WWII with the Americans and Japanese still fighting on the land.  The story begins with a family and community members taking shelter in the family's basement and trying to survive with little to no food.  Several family members leave the shelter and risk their lives to find food. In between pages of absolute horror and violence during the war, there are chapters woven in of folklore legends told through narrators in the basement and sharing lessons of courage and hope to keep everyone going through such a terrible time.  I loved the graphic details the author wrote about the outside world, and the tender magical story telling that took place in between.  They provided such a unique contrast that kept me turning the pages.  Though the story has many tragedies along the way, you root for the family and the community in hiding throughout and even knowing there will be tragedy I was still saddened by the losses they endured.  

Night of Many Dreams by Gail Tsukiyama  This is the story of two young sisters living in Hong Kong as WWII breaks out.  The story follows the lives of the girls from young adolescence during the war to 

young adulthood.  We as readers get to follow the girls through a variety of cultures as the move, first for safety and then later on along the paths their lives take them.  We follow the family as the parents and close aunt grow older as well and how their lives change based on what happens with the girls.  I liked the book enough though I didn't feel like it matched with what the jacket said.  I also didn't like that in parts of the book a new piece of the plot would be opened up but then closed up immediately and not really explored which made it seem then that it wasn't really necessary to the story.  

Water Witches by Chris Bohjalian  Very interesting story.  One of this authors shorter novels but I enjoyed it as I usually enjoy his writing.  The narrator is a father with a young daughter who inherited the ability to find water sources underground.  Though his wife/her mother is also able to do this his sister in law is talented with additional abilities in tune with nature.  The story takes place in a small Vermont town which thrives on it's ski industry.  The narrator is an attorney working for the ski industry to be able to expand and continue to grow but caught between his job and his family since this expansion would cause environmental concern in the area.  Since his wife, daughter, and most of the wife's family are so in tune with nature/environment this causes conflict.  I learned a lot about the practice of water divining that I did not know even existed.  I also really liked that throughout the book you got a strong sense of the characters love and affection for his young daughter.  This father's love is what gives the story direction.

March 5

Wild Ginger by Anchee Min  I've always enjoyed reading book about other cultures.  I read all of Lisa See's books not too long ago and have since been missing that cultural aspect.  So I searched a bit for similar authors and was able to find this author and this book at my local library.  I did like that the book took place in the late 60s early 70s in China during the cultural revolution.  I liked learning about the cultural and historical aspects of this time period.  Overall I wish I had started with another of Min's books because while I liked the writing I didn't particularly enjoy the plot line.  A young girl coming of age during this tumultuous time and her only friend at school meet a young man that attempts to help them in this difficult time.  Of course a sort of love triangle develops in a culture that does not value love at that time in history.  The story was interesting enough and kept me turning the pages but perhaps I had too high expectations since I still found it to be lacking.

The Lolita Effect by M. Gigi Durham  This non fiction book has been on my list for some time.  The author provides her perspective on the media and it's sexualization of, especially young, girls.  The author takes us through reasons why girls are sexualized and various cultural differences around the world.  I liked the informative research provided, what I didn't like was that it felt like the whole book was telling us as readers we shouldn't be allowing this instead of accepting the reality we do live in.  It seemed to me that she was advocating for radical change rather then education.  Then at the end of the book she stated the opposite that she realized the culture and times we lived in but that by being informed users we could make choices as parents and consumers through education.  It was a bit of a confusing message at least to me.

Eight Girls Taking Pictures by Whitney Otto-  This book was not on my list but I saw the picture of the old camera on the front of the novel and the title and got sucked in to putting it in my bag.  I really liked the book but it is advertised as a novel, says it on the front cover, but more so seemed like a collection of short stories to me.  In any case each section is narrated by a different character but all have a love of photography in common.  The stories are told throughout the 20th century with each woman having to make choices about the sacrifices she will or will not make to further herself in life.  I loved reading the different stories from different years and across the globe.  I loved the vivid way the author captured each characters story.

"Nothing was fixed.  Nothing is any one thing really, and isn't that the beauty of it all?"

Book Four will not be blogged about.

Dupont Circle by Paul Kafka-Gibbons  I picked this book up at the library simply based on the title and my recent move.  Little did I know when I picked it up how timely it would be for last month.  The story is told through many characters voices but all center around a DC family and several of it's members.  The oldest member of the family is a judge and his wife has died and he is in need of new company and continuing to advance his career.  Another set of characters is his son and his son's partner who want to marry but are not allowed to legally at the time.  The judge is hearing a case about gay marriage and has to pass a decision on the case.  His son and his son's partner are also the parents to two young children born to his daughter who is unable to care for them due to her prevalent mental illness.  While I liked reading the book and hearing about now familiar places to me, since the book was published in 2002 thankfully the gay marriage issue has moved much further forward and hopefully will continue to do so.  Because of this though, the book seemed to be timely but is really too far in the past already to be as timely today given how much this issue has changed recently.  I liked the book though and do not regret reading it and it served it's purpose as far as why I took it off the shelf to begin with.

February 5

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn  I have to start by saying I threw this book on the ground when I finished reading it, that's how into I got and how frustrated I was with it.  This was the first book I read by this author after repeatedly hearing from others that I must read it.  It was very good.  I love the author now and really respect her way of writing and leading you as a reader exactly where she wants you to go and think.  This story was of a married couple who recently moved back to the husband's hometown leaving behind their former Manhattan lives.  It is clear the marriage has become an unhappy one and we begin with the book being narrated by the wife and then start alternating in various sections back and forth between the wife and the husband.  The wife goes missing by the end of the first section of the book and the rest of the book takes us back and forth from former days in the relationships to the present day potential murder case.  Warning for this book, just as soon as you have it all figured out, guess what, you don't.  Flynn is remarkable at moving you along with the book and getting you to think you've solved the mystery and then throwing huge surprising curveballs.

"And it's so far beyond fine that you know you can never go back to fine.  That fast.  You think: Oh, here is the rest of my life.  It's finally arrived."

"Maybe that is what I like best about him, the way he makes me.  Not makes me feel, just makes me."
difficult era to be a real perosn, how to be real again

Promises to Keep by Jane Green  I'm not certain I understood the plot here.  I get it that one of the main characters had cancer and we earn this early on and then continue on with what is happening for her and her family and friends as a result of this.  That being said, I didn't feel like the book went anywhere.    I understood as a reader that I was following the life of two sisters and some of their women friends.  We learned about different choices woman make as far as career and children and family.  But I'm still not sure what the author's message was.  I like Jane Green and her novels are usually good for a quick light hearted story, but I'm starting to feel like there are a lot of repetitive story lines and not a good clear story being produced in some of the books.  May need to take a break from her books.

The Bright Side of Disaster by Katherine Center  Really didn't like this book.  The writing wasn't bad, or I wouldn't have finished it, but the concept was cool but then went romance novel very quickly.  A young woman is pregnant and right before she is due to have the baby the baby's father, her fiance, leaves her.  For awhile we watch her pick herself up and enter single motherhood with courage but then the book becomes about her next relationship rather then continuing on with her independence.  Not the overall message I was looking for.

Rape A Love Story by Joyce Carol Oates  Loved this story.  It wasn't an easy read even though it was a quick one.  As someone who has heard numerous women's rape stories this fictional woman's story was hard to read through.  A woman and her daughter are walking home through a park after a July 4th celebration and she is gang raped by a group of men in her neighborhood.  The story tells the aftermath for both the victim and her daughter.  Though justice is not served through typical court justice, the story also follows the cop who was a first responder to the scene and how he connects to the victim and her family.  I love JCO and her work and this one did not disappoint.

Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn  Really growing to like this author.  This novel followed a young woman returning home as a journalist after many years of being away.  The young woman is a former cutter who used to carve words into her skin.  She does not have a good relationship with her mother or her half sibling or step father.  Her mother and her have not been able to get along well since her younger sister died many years ago.  The main character has to come of age all over again in returning to her childhood roots and having to confront all that she left behind.  This story was a little easier to predict then the other novel by the same author that I read, but possibly only because of my own career choices.  I really like how Flynn paints the story for us as readers and how difficult it is to put down her books because of that.

January-6

The Group by Mary McCarthy  This book was referred to in another book I was reading and I got curious about it.  It tells the story of 8 women who recently graduated from college in the 1930s and shows the paths their lives begin to take.  I found it to be an excellent piece of feminist literature and quite shocking for it's intended audience as it was published in the early 60s.  I really related to the women each trying to find their own path and see where their lives would take them.  Each of them in their own way had their own hopes and dreams and they were living in a time where it wasn't an easy task to get those wants met.  It was odd to read about women in a much different era but facing many of the same issues today's women face.  It was easy to relate to the idea of wanting to keep your college friends but getting lost in your career, marriage, and family choices.  It was also sad to read about the challenges they faced and the loses that they endured.  Overall I'm certain it didn't have the impact on me that it would have had if I had been around to read it when it was first released, but I still found it to be a great read.  I also see the influence it has had on other writers who write about women's friendships throughout the life course and how they grow and change.

This is how You Lose Her by Junot Diaz This is a collection of short stories all following the main character, Yunior.  There are 9 short stories all telling of/about love.  The author shares stories of family love, love for one's country of origin, romantic love, and the mistakes sometimes made in romantic love and the consequences those mistakes can have.  The book was a little too vulgar for my taste at times but I appreciated that it wasn't vulgar for the sake of being vulgar but as a way to explore the main character in a real way.  There were stories I liked better than others but throughout I liked the authors writing style.  I also think the book started strong and ended strong but I got lost a little in the middle stories.  I also think since 8 of the 9 stories included the main character and the other one hinted at his involvement in the story, the book may have been better as a sequential novel rather than a fragmented short story book.  The stories jumped around a bit and made it a little confusing.  That being said I liked the authors style and added his other two books to my to read list.

"Okay, we didn't work, and all memories to tell you the truth aren't good.  But sometimes there were good times.  Love was good.  I loved your crooked sleep beside me and never dreamed afraid.  There should be stars for great wars like ours."  Sandra Cisneros opening quote
"Ana Iris once asked me if I loved him and I told her about the lights in my old home in the capital, how they flickered and you never knew if they would go out or not.  You put down your things and you waited and couldn't do anything really until the lights decided.  This, I told her, is how I feel."

No One is Here Except All of Us by Ramona Ausubel  This was an excellent book.  I've gotten quite behind on my blog writing but even 3 months later I still vividly remember this book.  The author narrates in such a detailed way it would be difficult to forget.  The story is of an isolated Jewish town in Romania starting during WWII.  The town reinvents itself in order to keep the bigger world out and is successful at doing so for some time.  Eventually the two worlds collide though and the main characters face many hardships and challenges.  The writing in this book was excellent and I am sad this was the author's first novel as I don't have other books of hers yet to add to my "to read" list.

The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick  I only added this book to my never ending "to read" list after seeing the movie.  I happened upon the movie by chance and I absolutely loved it and saw how it would make a great book.  I think this is the first time in a long time that I liked a movie more than the book it was based on!  The book is more or less the same storyline of the movie but with some key differences that really change the tone of the novel.  The story still revolves around a 30 something year old man with Bipolar disorder that is getting out of a mental institution.  There is still a love story in the middle of it all and also the story of the man reintegrating into society after his life has had such a dramatic change.  The title is made more clear in the book and the family dynamics are explored much more as well.  Overall the book wasn't bad and if I hadn't had such a great experience with the movie it may have met my expectations but since I was really counting on it being great it just didn't satisfy me as much as the trumped up Hollywood version did.

Swimming Home by Deborah Levy  This book confused me.  I guess it was passed on a story from some years ago and may have had more meaning if I had known what it was based on.  The story follows a family visiting France and is told through several of the main characters voices.  There is a young girl who is the daughter of a couple and then several neighbors and friends staying with the family.  There is also a young woman who is involved in each of their lives.  It was a short read but a bit confusing to follow and I'm not entirely sure what message the author was trying to convey was.

Birds of a Lesser Paradise by Megan Mayhew Bergman  This book is a collection of short stories with human characters as narrators but each story has animal characters as well which are important to each story in a unique way.  The human characters are struggling and sharing their stories of the struggle they are facing.  The animal characters are important to each story and for some stories bring in some happiness where there is only sadness.  The reader learns unique facts about the animals as we are learning about the human characters and making connections of similarities.  As both a book lover and animal lover this book was such a great read for me.  It was also the first time in awhile that I read a book of short stories where I felt the author did a good job of closing the stories individually.  For the most part each story had the right amount of writing to get you interested but also to give you closure where you weren't constantly looking elsewhere in the book for the character's chapter to return to be closed in a better way.

"I want to fix everything.  I want him to know nothing but gentle landings.  I don't want him to know that people like Louis's mom exist, that people fall into land mines of pain and can't crawl back out."

"Mother's, I believe, intoxicate us.  We idolize them and take them for granted.  We hate them and blame them and exalt them more thoroughly than anyone else in our lives.  We sift through the evidence of their love, reassure ourselves of their affection and its biological genesis.  We can steal and lie and leave and they will love us."

2012- 77

Well year end update:  November/December were very disappointing numbers but I must say I started a new job and I'm not that surprised I had so little time to read.  Hopefully 2013 will start off on a better reading note.  This year has been full of so much change.  Change that has also affected all my reading.  I have fallen in love with my new city, but have yet to fall in love with any of the libraries it has to offer *sigh*  But I'm making do with what I have and I'm thankful for where I am now after all this adjusting and changing.

In looking back over the list of all the books I read this year I read a lot of series: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Hunger Games, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.  I also read a lot of "Jewish" stories, Unorthodox, The Outside World, The Ladies Auxiliary, The Jew Store.  I always love looking back over the list and seeing the stories that really stuck with me, The Submission (a 9/11 memorial story), The Night Circus (such a visual story, and one I hope to see made into a movie), The Language of Flowers (a unique story), I Know this Much is True (a family dealing with mental health issues novel), Amaryllis in Blueberry (A great new author I had never read before), Between Shades of Gray (A Lithuanian novel that took me back to my roots).  I seem to have repeated authors a lot too, Lisa See, Deborah Copaken Kogan, Joyce Carol Oates, Lionel Shriver, Tova Mirvis, Christina Meldrum, Jane Green, Marisa de los Santos, J Courtney Sullivan, Rebecca Miller.

Overall I'll take the 77, it's a way better number then last year and although there are some I might trade out for better books I think overall I read a good combination of light hearted books and heavier novels.    2013 may see me as more of a book buyer then borrower but no matter where I get the books from, I'll continue to always have a book on me no matter where I am...

-L

December 2

The Jew Store by Stella Suberman  Great true story of the only Jews in a small southern community in the 1920s.  This story shared by the youngest daughter of the family shares her parents background and how they came to own a "Jew Store" in the community she was raised in.  The story had many interesting stories from the authors childhood but was not quite what I expected to be reading about.  Also throughout the story the author references an incident she will get to later as though there is a major plot twist to be expected.  This turn did not end up happening until very close to the end and was given only a few paragraphs of space which seemed odd given the build up.  Overall not a bad read but I'm still a little confused on what the overall message of the book was meant to be.

So Much for That by Lionel Shriver This is the story of a man who has always dreamed of retiring early in life and moving away to an amazing place with his wife.  Through circumstance his big dream has never come to be.  The day he decides to make it happen no matter what, and buys plane tickets for himself, his wife, and his high school age son, he shares his plan with his wife only to find out that she needs him to stay because she needs his insurance due to being diagnosed with a rare cancer.  For whatever reason it always takes me a minute to get into this authors books but I always end up really liking what I find when I stick with it.  This story shared what happens in families when things don't always go the way you want/think/hope they will.  There was also an interesting political background in how the health care system fails and how employers really hold such a key to our family members care.  This was also compared to other cultures and what they value and how things can be different in other parts of the world.  Overall a great book with some odd twists and turns but with an amazing ending that did a good job closing the characters story lines.

November 3

My Husband's Sweethearts by Bridget Asher
This was an interesting plot line.  A woman who's husband cheated on her returns home to take care of him as he is suffering from a terminal illness.  The first night she returns home she drinks too much and decides she shouldn't have to do this alone and calls all his ex girlfriends to let them know he is dying and they need to come help too.  It's a really funny first few chapters as the mess gets sorted out but some of the exes do show up to say their goodbyes and get their closure.  Which leads to lots of stories along the way of both ways that the husband helped and hindered their lives.  The woman also realizes her husband has a grown son whom she and he have never met but that he has been sending money to all his life.  He now as part of his dying wish wants to meet this son.  I liked the unique story line which is what originally draw me to this light hearted book, but I didn't like the romance novel turn it took very quickly and predictably.  Overall though it was an easy quick read with lots of laughs.

Some quotes I liked from the book:  "There is a blurry line between love and hate."  "Sometimes it's hard to figure out what happens when your eyes are wide open."  "...because women know how to survive.  It's what we do.  We have more inner strength, and all those years that men thought they were superior, it wasn't true.  It was something we allowed them to believe, because they're weak.  And then women's lib came along- and don't get me wrong, I love women's lib- but they messed up the whole charade."  "Well, they say I tried to fix them or change them and that I made a promise to them, and the promise is what would make their lives better.  The promises made them feel, well, safe, for example.  And when I failed them or betrayed them, they ended up with two problems instead of one or I made the one problem worse.  It's always complicated." "We are the stories we tell and stories we don't tell."  "The difference between breaking down and breaking open is sometimes so slight it's imperceptible."  "And sometimes you can be brought back to yourself, whole"

Commencement by J. Courtney Sullivan

This is a story of four women who met in college and what happens after graduation as they move forward into the "real world."  It was an interesting story, with each chapter switching between one of the four main characters as narrators.  The women are all very different and I'm not certain if they would have become friends anywhere other then in a fictional world.  But perhaps just having a small all female college in common is enough to form a bond even among unlike characters.  Throughout the book even as the characters have less and less in common as they mature into adults, they still stick by their original friendships.  Through weddings and pregnancies and major life events we get to go back in the past and see how the friendships formed and we also see in the present how "bonded for life" the women are.

Some quotes I liked from the book: "With the Smithies, it was different.  There was sometimes no telling where one of them began and the others left off."
"Sometimes April worried that she'd been built without some fundamental piece that everyone else had that just let them deal... But the evil in the world, everywhere you looked, was always on April's mind"
"They recognized that they were the first generation of women whose struggle with choice had nothing to do with getting it and everything to do with having too much of it- there were so many options that it felt impossible and exhausting to pick the right ones."
"It amazed her how chemical a feeling love could be, how it could take hold of you even when you had come to despise its object."

Where We Belong by Emily Giffin

This is the story of a woman in her mid 30s with a great career but still working on her love life.  And the story of an almost 18 year old woman trying to figure out where she came from.  The older woman has kept a secret from everyone in her life, except her mother, about having a child and giving that child away in her teens.  Needless to say the 18 year old turns out to be her daughter and the story goes back and forth between the two women as narrators sharing their unique coming of age stories.  I liked the mostly realistic story line of the this novel and the focus on the two main female characters.  I didn't like some of the romance novelish stuff that got thrown in towards the end.  Overall though I think the author did a good job sharing a storyline that hasn't been explored that much.  I've read a lot of non-fiction on adoption stories and seen a bit on finding birth parents later in life, but this fictionalized story brought out real emotion in a fictional setting.